Reality Blip, Part 1

*Blip*
Chuck checked over his control panel. He looked over his shoulder to Lawrence. "You're not going to like this, Larry," Chuck said grimly. Lawrence shook his head, placing a hoof to his aching left temple. With his other, he circled it around, telling Chuck to go forward with his information. Chuck gulped.

"Sir, we've got a Blip. Sensors detected the blip about ten minutes ago. It's not good-"

"I'll tell you what is and isn't good Mister Zebra. Now continue."

Chuck gulped harder this time. Never before had he been this frightened. Sure blips happened all the time. Blips are blips, right? Why couldn't this blip have been like most all the other blips? Chuck worried over everything he could worry over in a split second. That was all the time he had; maybe all the time the world had. "A Reality Blip, sir," Chuck squinched himself in his chair, expecting a horn or slap from Lawrence Unicorn. He wearily managed a quick look over to Lawrence, not expecting the frail, pale-looking shell of the Unicorn he once knew.

*blip**blip*
Raul Llama sat at his desk, composing what he thought to be the greatest complaint letter he had written, perhaps in all the history of Llamakind, to Bill Gates and Microsoft. It seemed that if one used their Continuum Transfunctioner in ways other than controlling the space/time continuum, that there could be serious consequences... which he was not expecting. Damn you, Bill Gates, and the Continuum Transfunctioners you poop out. He held his clearly defective Continuum Transfunctioner at a good length, eyeing it with great caution. He carefully sat the device down, picking up the remains of another sealed in a baggie. He started on the greatest complaint letter to Steve Jobs and Apple. It seemed that if one used their Overthruster incorrectly, it could overthrust straight into someone's... well, let's just say it wasn't pretty. Raul forced a laugh, releasing a gas bubble, destroying the chair he sat in, launching him up to the sealing and knocking him unconscious.

*blip**blip**blip*
"I-I don't know about this Steve," Bill quaked. Steve gave him a tough look.

"Look! If we're going to get out of this mess, we're going to have to team up! Now, are you with me?!"

"I guess so."

"You guess so or you know so?!" Steve yelled.

"I-I know so," Bill cried.

"Good. Let's get to work. You know about computers, right?"

Bill hastily shook his head. "I thought you knew about computers, Steve."

"Damn! Oh man, I'm going to have to think on my feet here! Man-oh-man-oh-man! ThinkThinkThink!! Bill, do you know about computers?!"

"Steve, you just asked me that!"

"Yeah. What's your answer now?"

"Nonono...! I want to go home."

"That's not going to help us now, unless... You have beer, right?"

"I don't drink."

"DAMMIT!" *beep* "Yeah, this is Steve. Yeah, the party at Bill's house for tonight, it's off. Yeah, he's all whiney and saying 'I want to go home!' You know what I think? Billy-boy needs a nap! HAHAHA!! Alright, talk to you later!"

"STEVE! You have a cell phone! We're saved!"

"Not so fast. I have one of those phones that has three phone numbers pre-programmed."

"But you can dial one of those numbers and tell them where we are and who... or what we're being held captive by!"

"Hold on, Buck-O! The first number is to the Geriatric-900 hotline, those Hotty McHotkins, yeah, they could teach you a thing or two, heh! The second is to some crazy guy I met once. The third is to the future."

"But wha-? Huh? No?!" Bill slowly devolved into gibberish. Steve looked to their captor with a big grin.

"I'll have whatever he's on. Oh wait. You can't understsand me. You're an ostrich."

"Damn it! I'm not an Ostrich! I'm an Emu! Now get in the vault you two! Get!" He said, angrily pushing them into Steve's bottomless vault."

"Don't worry, Billy-boy. There's a safety net down there. Somewhere. You might want to have a parachute handy the next time, if there is a next time. I don't have a parachute. Do you have a parachute? Because I don't have a parachute."

*blip**blip**blip**bliptoinfinity